Raju was a simple man—never troubled anyone, lived a plain and straightforward life. After his father passed away, the responsibility of the household fell on his shoulders. For the first time, he had to offer a bribe to get his father’s death certificate.
Slowly, Raju realized that every task required a bribe. So, he stopped worrying. Without anger or complaints, he began offering bribes happily. Thanks to these “bribe bundles,” all his work got done quickly. He firmly believed:
He treated bribes like offerings to a goddess—the Goddess of Bribes. Through experience, he learned exactly how much to offer at which office to get things done.
When his wife gave birth, the nurse came out and joyfully announced, “Sir, it’s a boy!” Raju placed a ₹100 note in her hand and went in to see his son. The hospital gave him no trouble. From that moment, he began worshipping the Bribe Goddess for his son’s future.
Whether it was the birth certificate or adding his son’s name to the ration card, Raju offered bribes with devotion. He paid donations (disguised bribes) to get his son into a good school, then a good college. Even when he had to take loans and sacrifice his own needs, he kept the Bribe Goddess pleased.
Finally, after offering bribes equal to a year’s salary, he got his son a job.
Raju was honest—and meticulous. Before his son’s wedding, he calculated all the bribes he had paid over the years and recovered them by demanding a hefty dowry. He felt proud that his offerings to the Bribe Goddess had finally paid off.
One day, Raju felt a sharp pain in his chest. He knew his end was near. He thought, “Maybe even Chitragupta, the divine accountant, will need a bribe to send me to heaven.” He called his son and expressed his last wish. Respecting it, his son placed a bundle of ₹100 notes on his funeral pyre.
Raju reached Chitragupta’s court. Chitragupta asked, “Where should I send you—heaven or hell?”
Raju bowed deeply and offered the bundle of notes at Chitragupta’s feet. He said, “Whatever you decide is right. Just one request—please don’t send me back to India. I’m tired of worshipping the Goddess of Bribes.”
Chitragupta smiled slyly and said, “Raju, you never caused harm to anyone, so I can’t send you to hell. But you tried to buy me with a bribe. You forgot—this isn’t India, this is the court of justice. Because of this offense, I can’t send you to heaven either.”
Raju realized his fate: he was born again in India, destined to carry the bribe bundle once more. Cursing his luck, he let out a loud cry— “Ta-S-S!”