(A tale of love,
silence, and the fire that memory keeps alive)
That day was a Saturday. I had
just stepped out of a government office in Connaught Place around 2:30 in the
afternoon. As I walked toward the metro station, I saw her—coming from the
opposite direction. She saw me too.
“Vivek!” she called out,
rushing toward me. For a moment, it felt like she wanted to embrace me. But
just as she reached me, she stopped. She looked just the same. Slender,
radiant, her Punjabi complexion still glowing—only her hair had turned slightly
grey. Her face shimmered with both joy and fear.
“You haven’t changed at all,”
I said. “You look exactly as you did thirty-five years ago.” She laughed.
“Neither have you—except for the white hair.” I smiled. “We’ve aged. Shall
we go to the Coffee House? We could talk.” Without thinking, I took her
hand in mine, and we began walking.
It must have been August 1981.
I had landed a temporary job at a traders’ association in Rajendra Place. She
worked nearby, in another company. We were the same age. She lived in Tilak
Nagar. We met on a chartered bus. She was in her final year of B. Com,
struggling with accounts. I was good at it. On Sundays, she’d come to my place
to study.
One day, after a study
session, I was walking her to Jail Road. A few bikers from my neighbourhood
passed us, staring oddly. I realized my hand was resting on her shoulder.
Embarrassed, I withdrew it and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
She took my hand and placed it
back on her shoulder. Smiling, she said, “You fool. You understand nothing.” She
had fallen in love.
Back then, offices closed
early on Saturdays. After work, we’d watch movies at Rachna Cinema Hall. We
wandered through Buddha Garden like Bollywood lovers.
But fate had other
plans. It was likely September 1982. She hadn’t met me in days. One
afternoon, her colleague came to my office with a message: “Vivek, don’t try
to meet her.”
“What happened?” I
asked. Her friend explained: Her father had proposed her marriage to her
elder brother’s friend. She refused, saying, “How could you even think I’d
marry that drunkard?” Her brother exploded. “I told you not to let her
work. She’s probably flirting outside.” She snapped back, “Yes, I do. What
will you do? He’s not liked your drunk friend. He’s clean, and from a good
Brahmin family.”
Her father lost control. In
those days, the air in Delhi was thick with Khalistani tension. He removed his
belt and beat her, trying to force her to tell my name. But she didn’t utter a
word. Her mother somehow saved her. Her brother swore to find and beat
me. Two or three days later, he came to my office. “She had an accident,”
he said. “She won’t be coming back.” Then he leaned in and whispered, “She
has a boyfriend. She wants to meet him. I need to deliver her
message.” His expression triggered my sixth sense. I replied, “We’re just
office friends. I don’t know what she does outside.”
"He muttered", I
will handle him myself.
Even our manager suspected
something was wrong. The next day, we visited her home. Only her mother was
there. While making tea, she said, “Tell Vivek, not to try meeting me for a few
months. My brother is trying to go to Canada. Once he leaves, I’ll meet Vivek
myself.”
In November, I got a
government job. Our financial situation improved. By January 1983, we moved to
a flat in Hari Nagar.
One day, I visited her office.
Her friend said, “She never came back. I visited her home—it was
locked. Her father sold their house to send her brother to Canada and
bought a flat somewhere else in Delhi. Where would I even begin to search? My
love story ended—unfinished."
Over coffee, she asked, “How’s
your family?”
“I lost track of you,” I said
quietly. “After I turned twenty-five, I married the girl my mother chose. We
have two children now—one’s already married. And you? What path did your life
take?
She replied, “Six months after
my brother left for Canada. A week later of his departure, my
parents met with an accident. A truck hit their scooter. My father was
bedridden. My mother too, for a year. I had no time to think of myself. He sold
the shop, invested the money. We survived on the interest
from our savings and the remittances my brother sent from abroad. "A
year after the accident, my mother took her first steps again, leaning on a
walker. I tried to reach you, but you were gone. The friend who might have
known had left the office. I had no thread left to follow."
Her brother married in Canada
and stopped sending money. Their savings dwindled. She began tutoring at home
and prepared for government exams. By late 1986, she got a job. She found
out I was married. Her voice trembled: 'I was shattered. Maybe I was meant
to serve my parents—that was my fate. And perhaps that’s why destiny pulled us
apart.'"
“How are they now?” I
asked. “Father passed away after four or five years. He was the only
son—his my brother, I mean but he didn’t even come for the funeral. I performed
the rites myself. Mother broached the subject of my marriage. But how could I
leave her? She passed away last year. Now I’m alone.”
After a pause, I asked, “Will
you give me your address and phone number? In case…”
She took my right hand in
hers. Her touch burned with intensity. “Vivek,” she said softly, I’ve
touched only one man in my life. When the nights grow restless, I remember your
touch—it still calms me. That single moment of love… it’s enough to carry me
through this life.” After a deep sigh, she added, Don’t ask for my
address. Don’t ask for my number. If you see me again, walk the other way.
Don’t come near me. If the dam of my emotions breaks, we’ll both be consumed.
Even your family will be destroyed.” Her breath quickened. Her voice
trembled. She stood up, grabbed her purse, and walked swiftly in the opposite
direction. She didn’t look back.
I sat there, stunned. Tears
welled in my eyes. Her touch still burned on my skin. She had ignited from
within, yet she held herself together—and left, carrying my touch into the
silence of her life.
For many nights, I couldn’t
sleep. Questions haunted me. Why didn’t I search for her? Why did I rush into
marriage? Why couldn’t I wait? But the past never answers. We are all
slaves to fate.
She had learned about my life
yet never came looking. Not once. She didn’t want her shadow to fall across the
happiness I had built. By then, she was a gazetted officer—her name, her
address, her number… none of it was hidden. But I never searched. Maybe I was
afraid of what I’d find. Or worse, of what I wouldn’t.
She chose silence over
intrusion, memory over presence. And so she lived—carrying the echo of my touch
like a sacred flame. That single moment between us… it was enough for her.
Enough to call it love. And I know now, she had truly loved me. Quietly. Entirely.
Without asking for in return. She had truly loved me.
But I… I never knew what I
felt. Not fully. Not then. And now, years later, I still search for the
answer in the spaces she left behind—in the memory of her voice, the warmth of
her touch, the absence that became a presence.
Some questions don’t ask to be
answered. They simply live inside us.